Where to start?

---

One of my many flights back to NY since moving to CO

First, thank you to anyone who is reading. You have no idea how long it has taken me to get to the place to actually write something, so your time and attention means the world.

A little about me: I am in my early twenties and currently live with my cat in Denver, Colorado. I am from New York State originally and I'll always want to be by water if I'm not able to... hence I find myself at a crossroads since I've been living in the near desert.

Anyway, some background for why this blog!

Early on in the pandemic, I developed an eating disorder. For anyone who has struggled with one or knows someone who has, you know that it is rare that a person just has one eating disorder. It is common for people to switch between a couple or possess qualities of multiple at the same time. For me, I began with anorexia. To make a long story short, it resulted in me being hospitalized and in need of several procedures to return my levels to where they needed to be [don't worry I'll get into this more in a later post]. Once I began treatment, however, I transitioned to exercise-induced bulimia, and that is what I would say I find myself in recovery for today.

Throughout my site, you will notice that I use the word 'recovery'. You may ask why I don't say 'recovered'. This is because I do not believe that anyone can truly recover from an eating disorder. I believe that we can find ways to cope and make huge improvements, but I do think that it is something that will always be a temptation or inclination of the mind to go to in times of stress, anxiety, fear etc.

For me, recovery currently looks like seeing a psychotherapist, dietician, sports medicine doctor, and physical therapist. All of these resources have helped me significantly as I navigate finding healthier ways to handle stress and fear instead of attacking myself and aiming to harness my body, food intake, and exercise as weapons.

Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with being active. There is nothing wrong with eating healthy. There is nothing wrong with self-control. I love to exercise. It is when I turn to it as my answer for stress that it becomes problematic.

So you may be thinking... "okay so Lydia you are literally starting a blog that is titled 'From Recovery to Run'. What makes you think that you are in recovery?"

And to this I would say- you're right. From the outside it may look like: I haven't changed, I'm a hypocrite, or worse it may lead people to discredit my experiences.

However, I hope that as you read more about my journey, the authenticity, cringey honesty, and information I have learned will resonate with you or provide you with some inspiration for your own journey.

~Another day, another slay~

Lydia